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Viktoria Polileeva

Viktoria Polileeva

Darina

Love story

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© Viktoria Polileeva, 2019

“— Did the old woman kill Raskolnikov?

— Tell your version. Who is the killer?

— Porfiry Petrovich is, but he inspired to the suspicious, nervous Raskolnikov, that he – Raskolnikov is the murderer. Everything is written there, if you read it carefully. After all, he even looks like Napoleon – small, plump.”

Dear reader! In the book “Darin”, you will find a sharp intricate plot and original author’s thoughts. Another love, but even the reciprocal feeling does not always contribute to happiness.

ISBN 978-5-4496-3707-9

Created with Ridero smart publishing system

Contents

1. Darina

the story of the man walking towards

To tell your own story without hiding a single movement of the soul, neither good nor bad, is to relive it again. Despite the many sorrows associated with her, this is the only thing I live by. The most dear to my heart memory.

Mysterious, flashing living light diamond. Sometimes I take it out to once again be fascinated by its brilliance and again hide it in my bosom…

It all started over two years ago, in the evening in May. I remember it to the smallest details.

Dribble warm rain, crazy, carefree. With one touch, he removed all worries and blatantly lied about happiness. At the end of the street we traveled, was located a small square. His darkness was tempting to breathe freshness. I asked to stop the car and went out.

The smell of sticky leaves excited the blood. I was still desperately young!

Feeling a surge of strength, I would have swept away like a foal, on thick wet grass where the horizon is visible, to tear its boundaries.

My companion did not guess my desires. I was gloomy and taciturn. My business was serious, and I did not take off the mask. I stood under a wet tree, breathing in the spring air mixed with the smoke of my cigar, pondering one deal. But for some reason my thought this evening galloped from side to side, like my foal. pondering one deal

The rain broke, encouraged by elastic leaves.

Then I first saw her. My darling, my beauty.

In pink tights, short skirt, thin as a needle. Long hair was wet in the rain, brown eyes gazed stubbornly and cheerfully under the light bangs. She was walking with her girl — friend.

Hugging each other around the waist, the girls slapped right through the puddles.

Drunk air circled the young heads. They sang, not paying any attention to me

“They became too small for me. Your grated jeans. We have been taught for so long lo-o-o-ong …”

Wake up in the spring, sonorous birds — a mockingbird!

So it began.

Hi girls.

— Hello, crispy, — she answered, barely glancing at me with a look, — why such a handsome man? From which gypsy camp?

And they passed by, laughing and not waiting for an answer. She did not need an answer, a minx. I asked a question to make my girlfriend laugh. I did not interest her.

I got into the car.

— Follow them quietly, brother.”

We went up.

— Shall I give you a lift? Wetted at all…

She sparkled her white teeth.

— We do not sit in the cars to unfamiliar gypsies.

The girlfriend said: “Never!” — And again they laughed.

I turned directly to the blond one, finding nothing better than a hackneyed phrase:

— Can you give a phone number…

But the voice sounded strange, intermittent, I needed to know her phone before the spasms.

— Will you not regret it? — She answered with a question. Her friend snorted, bent over laughing, and so she went, holding her stomach.

The car drove slowly behind the girls. I looked at my beautiful woman silently, without looking up. She again slid on me with a cold lizard, grinned:

— Well, write, Roma

The girl was not mistaken, I am a gypsy. When I met my beauty, I turned 28 years old.

I had a bride — beautiful, like the southern night, lassie. Her name is Rada.

I dreamed of happiness doves with her, about children. And at that moment, I firmly believed, and the earth was ready to kiss, that Rada and I were two halves of one apple. Therefore, I did not have time to walk “in a painted shirt”, only until autumn. In the fall should be our wedding.

In the meantime, like any idle gypsy, drunk with young courage, dashing money and the availability of beautiful women, I allowed myself everything.

Milky rivers and sweet banks of debauchery! Everyone drank from them, I was no exception and did not hesitate to take what I wanted.

Waitresses from restaurants, whose attention could be attracted by a generous tip and kept expensive trinkets. Putany, clinging to the roadsides, excited their white skin with tattoos and independent of “prejudice” behavior. After seeing their picturesque flocks, the heart beat faster, life was felt more sharply. These Lyubasha and Anyuta so nicely brightened up with us friends with free time, were so sincere and unsophisticated.

With some, I met more than once, there was something like attachment, but quickly passed, and I forgot them.

The simplicity of relations with Russian women has never complicated me.

Why did this thin girl with wet blond hair suddenly need me more than air?

And where did my head go, so suddenly, without explaining anything?

This stolen, if she does not want, can not be achieved for any money.

Such a rare breed walks by itself and lives by its own laws.

Well, why do I need it? And let him walk… I thought myself. But it did not help. Something uncontrollable, frighteningly — sweet already enveloped my heart. I felt the power of the unknown, resisting it.

I twisted the situation and so and so, but she stubbornly did not stick in any acceptable frame for me. Soon I abandoned my vain attempts and threw out the white flag.

Old people say a person feels it right away. What happens once in my life, or never happens.. What my soul was tormented about, what mistakenly I mistook for Rada, I met that evening.

I was happy and scared. For the first time, I was not the master of the situation.

So I recognized her phone number and name. My beloved’s name, sonorous, as she herself is, Daria, Darina (as I began to call her in my own way) A gift, even in the name I saw a happy omen.

I called her the next day, worrying in earnest. I, who often looked in the face of death, lost comrades and closed my eyes to enemies, worried like a boy, dialing her number.

There was a lump in my throat that I could not swallow. I did not hope for anything, I asked her to meet.

Our first date, as the first pancake, really turned out to be a lump.

The phone was constantly ringing, she talked with someone about the upcoming session, tests, rehearsals and gates. Casually dropped that she is studying at the Institute of Culture (here, in Khimki) on a choreographer and finishing the fourth year.

In general, she was scattered, hurriedly ate a cake, refused champagne, almost forgot the rose, which I gave her and said that she was very in a hurry, melted in the door of her hostel.

Alas, I again did not cause the slightest interest in my beauty. Did not even look back, splinter! But, having coped with irritation, I decided not to retreat, no matter what happens. The next day, she also said with a sense of detachment that she was taking the exam today.

And tomorrow at the girlfriend of Lyuska’s birthday and, more likely out of politeness, (well, you want, come) invited me to celebrate this event with them.

If you already stepped into the tunnel — go boldly. There must be a clearance in front.

I came on the road estimating unfamiliar to me the situation. A room full of advanced youth. They drank wine and heatedly argued. The fashionable names of the cine and artistic world of contemporary art flashed. Students, at the time of their intellectual development.

I was out of business. And while my love was talking about Italian neo-realism and Russian art-house, I sipped marijuana at the open window.

She did not pay any attention to me at all, as if we were not acquainted, completely. She gave her attention to fellow students. By the way very unceremonious, for kisses and compliments to my beautiful. She was jealous, my hot nature resisted every touch of a strange hand to Darina, but I did not give a look and patiently waited for the denouement.

One of these wise men studied directing and prepared for staging an excerpt from Crime and Punishment. In pursuit of the avant-garde, he tortured the form, leaving untouched, trivially understood content. In Russian books, there is much to learn, and I once read Dostoevsky. And when the Khimki avant-gardist spoke with inspiration about the “sitting on the needle” Raskolnikov, with his ax in the trembling hands, I asked, looking up from the window: “Did the old woman kill Raskolnikov?”

Puzzled look at me, they made me laugh — that’s the bosota! — I thought and continued:

— He took someone else’s sin. Love you for someone else’s suffer.

— Tell your version. Who is the killer?

— Porfiry Petrovich is, but he inspired to the suspicious, nervous Raskolnikov that he — Raskolnikov is the murderer. Everything is written there, if you read it carefully. After all, he even looks like Napoleon — small, plump. Dostoevsky innocently suffers a lot. But on closer examination, it turns out that — yes, they could to kill, but neither one nor the other is to blame. And somebody is guilty the third, absolutely casual person who was attracted by easy prey. The bloody ax is in the hands of Raskolnikov. After all, he was constantly present there, shifting from foot to foot, immersed in his thoughts. Like a lover under the balcony. Probably witnessed a terrible massacre. Raskolnikov himself punishes himself for criminal thoughts: he thought, he wished, it means guilty. To take someone else’s fault — it is in Russian.

Finally I caught a spark of interest in her eyes.

“Aha, I got caught, as if such a pike did not break!”

And, when we went out for a walk in the evening, I was silent, like a block, afraid to spoil the impression.

In those days, Darina fell from morning to night in the institute, and I circled around, hoping that she would call, and I will appear at the first call of the beloved. Love tightly and efficiently twisted its nuts. I was only thinking about Daryn. The face of the Rada sometimes came up from the mist of my soul and immediately disappeared. I guess I’m crazy.

The idea that love can be fierce, unreciprocal, tearing apart the heart, made a frenzy. But hope had such a gentle, affectionate voice!

So I spent days in torments and dreams, forgetting about everything.

The deeds demanded my presence. I did go to the meeting with the guys to solve all the problems as quickly as possible and return.

We were lucky, a large lot of excellent goods came unhindered.

The guys were happy. "- Oh, do not wake me up early tomorrow, romala!”

— Let’s go to revel!

I (constantly peeking into the phone, — whether there is a SMS-ok from Darina, did not miss her call), refused flatly.

“Shall I give you a truck?”

— Take me to Khimki, and go where you want.

I left in Khimki, leaving the guys. Their cheerful faces leaned out of the windows.

Friends looked after me, shaking their heads — Ay-ya-ya-ya-ya, va-ah-aa, ay-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya!

— Then wash the machine. After you…

— Oh, eh-uh-uh-yo-yo!

But that evening she did not call. We have not met for several days. And I sat, as if lost, in a smoke-filled hotel room, not noticing either the day or the night and waited.

At the weekend, she still jumped in my car, straightened her skirt on her knees, and said slowly, mockingly: “Well, go, drive the horses.”

We rode country roads, which gave us warmed-up dust. Outside the window flashed fields, from them so powerfully smelled a new life, that I often wanted

Stop the car and kiss your loved one with all the passion, but I kept myself.

Can you imagine what it cost me.

In the restaurant of my brother, where we came with my beloved, old Rachel sang. Did not sing, but exhaled, in the old manner, without emotion. But from simple songs of a gray-haired gypsy, goose bumps ran down his back and tweaked his eyes. My darling was flushed with drunk champagne, from the harmony of the strings of her soul with the melody.

Russians like gypsy songs. And I do not know a Russian who, at the first sounds of our sad violin, would not shrug his shoulders, did not dare, and would not wave a rifle or two: “And, to drink, so to drink! Let my business burn with a blue flame.”

My beautiful beauty has grown merry, and for its usual mockery, softly slid caress.

I generously thanked Rachel for the brilliance in the eyes of my beloved.

We returned to midnight and everything that could ignite an already raging flame was in stock: a huge golden-moon was shining treacherously, pregnant with love languor, the leaves gently rustled from the warm breeze.

My sweetheart said goodbye, clinging to me — “thank you.” I felt her body fragile and shy under the light shirt. My wild desire rushed with a black mustang, rose on its hind legs, and struck it in the heart! I almost choked, hugging Darina, but she slipped out of my hands in the most incomprehensible and miraculous way, leaving me to squeeze the air and wipe the cold sweat from her face.

I was furious and roared like a beast, giving vent to my fury. My car was racing, the speedometer went off scale. To knock down all the lampposts along the road, crush your head, (why should she, if this is so bad) — that’s what I wanted. So I was annoyed with myself, at her and all this bitter love!

I drove all night and stopped at the edge of the forest when it was dawn, with a firm and unshakable desire to forget this girl once and for all, go home and visit the Rada.

I washed my dew, sat down on a hillock, lit a cigarette and began to think about things, consciously avoiding thoughts about Daryn. But she so firmly entered my flesh that all thoughts jumped in one elusive way to one — my love.

My fury began to subside, though I still tossed and turned my head, consciousness to be confused and I fell asleep.

The chirping of the birds woke me up. So the spring birds sang ringingly! The eyes of her beloved pursued, how graciously she looked! A bitter thought, at the same time, swept through: as a convict to a wheelbarrow I was chained to my beloved, and as a slave I do not have freedom.

Then, lying on the grass warmed by the sun, looking at the blue sky with gaily flying clouds to the east, I thought about… marrying Daryn.

Poor thought, absolutely unsuccessful in implementation! But she walked so softly, back and forth on my soul that soon ceased to seem so ridiculous.

I thought seriously, and again fell into despair. Do not lock my sweetheart in a gypsy house, oh it will not work. And then myself… Leave it all!?

Was it too late for me to step into the unknown, coming off my roots?

Will I get accustomed to another place, on another soil, or will I slowly wither away like a fallen tree?

Let’s say that I’m young and lucky, I’ll find a place in a new life.

But you have no idea what kind of power it is — gypsy blood! To be rejected by one’s own family — this ancient fear still lives in each of us. I felt like a stalked wolf in front of the red flags. What awaits us beyond the line?

My head was burning. I could not find an answer. But I could not see her either.

The car drove off and I went completely in the opposite direction than I had intended a few hours ago.

Until evening I waited for Darina. I sat in the car and smoked, completely stupefied. Thoughts fled, only one maniacal — to see his love, rolled up his sleeves to finish the remnants of my will.

However, outwardly I was calm. The fire burned me from the inside, I did not give him a way out. And when she appeared — dark glasses, bright lips, I though thought that it would be better for me to die in place, not a single muscle flinched on the face.

She left, tapping with heels. Silently, not looking up, we looked at each other. And by the way she was silent, how strict and serious, I realized that the golden thread between us is already stretched.

And we’ll string pearls of happiness on her.

This gave me strength, and as I could at ease, squeezed out of myself:

— Well, you do not want to do it well, then marry me.

She grinned, shaking her head slightly.

— Fun. You probably will be the first gypsy in your camp, which, like this, to marry a Russian.

She walked over, put her pen in the window and stroked my cheek tenderly.

I kissed her hand.

— I love… I like to be first

— Yes-ah! Well then, you will be disappointed. In one topic I do not promise you the championship.

I opened the glove box and took the knife. And now, every gypsy can spit in my face, and I’ll say it’s fair.

Never get weapon, unless you’re going to shoot!

I held it in my hands and… put it in my place.

Strange devastation found on me. I felt neither anger nor pain.

How low is this girl with a light bangs to let me down? Up to what

When will the spiral of my humiliation end? I did not care.

“The claw is stuck, the whole bird is lost”

What a difference now, if she had someone before me. Surely some kind of pimply classmate. She slept with him out of interest. And then I did not know how to get rid of it, as if I had crap on the soles of the shit.

But how to destroy her superiority over me? Well, we’ll have to swallow it, too.

Judge me to what I’ve come to. Judge me those who managed to escape from the captivity of your favorite eyes — you are strong people. I was a weakling.

The same evening, I sent Darina SMS-ku: SO YOU?

And got the answer “YES”

From one word of my beloved, my dark passion, like a strong whip, bucking and dropping the foam, still fell into the background.

On the proscenium came another, not yet familiar to me — almost a father’s love. All June, while Darina was taking the session, I hung out in Khimki. Where could I be still? Only where my love is. And my daily concern was to feed, dress, and beautify my beauty. But even in this I ran into difficulties, now I will say what. Darina’s desire to smoke was stronger than the desire to eat. When she finally agreed to have supper, she was extremely picky about food, besides a vegetarian.

After the first class, she was sent to the countryside for the whole summer, to improve her health.

“There I made friends with the calf. His coat was so soft, silky. I strapped him to the horns, hung the bell, and met it from the pasture. He also ran to me, I knew! Grieving about me like a dog.

I’ll hide behind the woodpile, he will find me and look, with such gullible, friendly eyes.

Once we sat down to dinner, and grandmother say:

— Your calf is delicious, tender meat

My poor girl, having lain with the temperature for a week, left the village, taking with her an irresistible aversion to meat and guilt.

I materialize the feelings that overwhelmed me, I was ready to put everything I loved at my feet: gold jewelry, expensive clothes. But she looked at me so strangely and bought t-shirts, shirts, belts and scarves on sales in youth shops, indulgently leaving a couple of things that I myself chose.

It was necessary to choose a gift for Darinkin’s parents. To the parents of my bride!

Gypsies are usually given a Persian carpet. But the symbols of wealth and prosperity for Russians change more quickly. The carpet was completely rejected by Darina.

We agreed on a laptop.

“I imagine we would have come… with a carpet in the trunk.”

“And what’s wrong?”

— Full greetings, that such.

Intricately painted, there was this new world. I opened it like Vasco da Gama to India, wondering at every turn.

But I found it easy and fun in it, next to my beloved, listening to music for hipsters, watching Darinkin’s friends from the ecological commune, discussing the importance of sensory lanterns, trash sorting and categorically supporting the closure of nuclear power plants.

In those happy days, one thing saddened me in earnest, gnawing like a worm ripening fruit, is my meanness towards the Rada. The rumor of my chervovym interest here, probably reached the house, and the Rada does not find a place. And we must cut this Gordian knot in the very near future.

But I put it off, afraid even to part with Darina for a day.

It’s sweet to ride with a breeze through the night Moscow and see how the lights of a big city are drowning in your favorite eyes. Oh, love!

I did not look at her like a fox оn grapes, and a hint of a desire for intimacy did not allow himself, but slept like a little child.

Whether the student has tamed me or I myself have changed with joy — I do not know. But we spent a month chastely.

And clean, like the first snow, we will go with excellent marks to our parents, ask for blessings and arrange a wedding.

On the way, my beautiful wife missed, almost did not speak, and all the time looking out the window of the car. I understood her feelings, but gave her a voice.

— Well, why did we suddenly become embarrassed? — I asked

— I regret my mother. She will say that her daughter has already fully grown, she is marrying an unknown strange gypsy.

— She will think, that you were drunk, making such a decision.

— Well, you moron, what can I say? She turned to the window and began to cry.

I was silent. This is the right tears, let him cry.

Then suddenly she asked me to stop the car, and so tenderly and for a long time kissed me with wet lips from tears, that the rest of the way to the city of Tarus I remember vaguely.

We drove up to the paneled five-story building, which was drowning in old lindens and thickly oak trees.

— And, finally, I’m at home! Am I really at home! — Darina repeated enthusiastically, breathing in the scent of the blossoming garden, the smell of the dust of a nice provincial town, beaten by rain.

“She’s a duck!” She cried and waved to the lean, fair-haired man on the balcony of the last floor.

Crossing the threshold, Darina hung on her father’s neck. His eyes, sparkling with genuine joy, taken prisoner with goose paws, showed how much this person loves his only jumping.

I have long noticed “father’s daughters” — a special caste. The immense love of the father is an ornament for the girl, sparkling brighter than diamonds. Because they are much more attractive than their disadvantaged, in this sense, friends. “Daddy’s daughters” are clever, open and do not envy anyone.

So warmly the parents met their daughter, but not me.

I got on a family holiday, where I got the role of a stranger. It seemed that the parents did not believe their eyes. Their beloved daughter, still quite a girl. And when, at last, will this strange stranger rise and leave, leaving them three together, as before? And they will talk about this, about this, all such relatives and friends. And what does he even do here in our house?

But I did not just disappear like a phantom, worse than that, Darina kept holding me by the hand, talking to her parents, fidgeting on the couch, and finally dragged me to her room, leaving them alone with reality.

Here it is Eldorado of any lover — the room where the beloved lives!

She has a special, exciting flavor. Things, among which she grew up, you want to touch them, as to secret knowledge.

I saw that my beloved was also impatient to light me.

— Do you wanna take a look?

She stretched the photo album and stood beside her, gaily shining her eyes.

Among the color photographs of a beautiful ballet girl, there were black-and-white photographs, they struck me.

Tanned baby on the seashore builds a tower of sea stones. Hair, burned in the sun, white strands fall on his face. From the stones and figures, deep shadows, the other side is brightly lit. Only the sea, stones, girl, light and shadow are nothing superfluous.

— This is my folder such stylish pictures did.

The pictures of the blond-haired girl were strangely crowded within the family album. So masterfully they were made!

However, with such a kind of nature, Nabokov can be remembered and become an artist.

Fidget snatched a photo album out of my hands, (then you’ll see, there’s more on the computer).

— My first pointes. I gave them to my aunt. She once dreamed of becoming a ballerina herself, but she did not work out, she decided to take it out on me. Well, I immediately put them on, and count them out into the yard in them. I dance at the dance floor, the ballerina is all of me. How the girls envied me! Well cool, in these pointe shoes. Mom saw me by the handle in the window, and took us to our house.

Since then, I’ve been squirming.

I do not know if it were not for these pointe shoes, would I find myself in life? I could never work in a bank or office. To sit in one place, to look at the clock — soon a dinner to the end of the working day left two hours, cheers! From nothing to do, all day on the Internet to hang. And so for years. The horrible horror! So, I’m very grateful to my aunt.

I held in my hands the tiny pink petals, with half-inscription inside DASHA P., joyfully realizing how much in my beloved is what is in me. The same rejection of the musty, stagnant, from which the muscles weaken and the brains become sour.

Darinka rummaged in a closet, littered with books, notebooks, albums, periodically pulled out something, leafed through, and, smiling, put in place.

“Ah, that’s what I’ll show you.”

She pulled out plump notebooks in beautiful covers.

“Do you want to laugh? These are my poems.” To live in Tarusa and not write poetry … — she shook her head — All my school friends wrote in high school, well, I’m at the same time.

I opened it at random and read it on the page with a dried flower:

Would go to Zanzibar!

Reflect the mangrove trees in the water.

Feel the fingers of a real coral.

Watch the tangerine sunset in the sultry blue.

Separate to the impossibility and lie

Day and night, under the boat in the sand.

Aquamarine eyes

In the same aquamarines watch and be silent

Firmly holding a strange pebble in his hand.

May 21st

Crops yielded sprouts, was not

the soil, neither dry, nor stony.

From the secret excitement wheat ripples,

And the royal mane gilds

The lion is guarding the fields.

June 10th

“Ah, well written,” I said.

— You do not say. Childish babbling. I’m a poet, I’m called a blonde, from me for you have a carrot.

The poet Darinka lay down on the bed, embracing a teddy bear, tucking her right leg under her, the left one hanging down to the floor.

I sat with her. She raised herself on one elbow, looking at me intently. The look was imperious beckoning.

“We live in the same rush,” she said, minting every word.

I understood her, my darling, but had respect for the house that took me. Still, I was not completely lost.

— Wait, it’s not the time, everything is ahead.

She again leaned back against the pillow, sweeping her luxurious hair. Grouped around the bear and closed her eyes, smiling at her thoughts.

His father’s head thrust into the narrow doorway: “We’ll go to the market with my mother, then another couple of cases.” In the evening we sit down and sit. Yeah… Mom says in the fridge rassolnik, warm up when you want … — and left.

— Mother and father are always together. Now they will go, exchange impressions, calm down. Shock for them of course. But they are normal adequate people.

They need to get used to you. Let’s go and cook dinner, which we have there. Let’s go to the kitchen. No, let’s go, we’ll smoke.

While my beauty cooked broccoli cutlets (well, how to blind them, chyo for garbage!) I was preparing to talk with her parents. It seemed to me that it would not be simple, so it turned out.

We sat at a table, divided into two camps. Mother continued to look at me appraisingly and frown. Her eyes are Darinkina, brown with a stubborn sparkle.

Parents opened their mouths, but fell silent, looking at me. Their intention clearly stumbled against a stone of dislike.

My beloved and I exchanged glances:

— So, parents, a solemn moment, — said Darina, tapping the glass with a spoon, and smiled.

I wake up. Hundred times I saw how it is done in our families. But to whom should I speak, if people have buried their eyes on the floor, as if the most important thing in their life is going on there. I hesitated. The most simple and sincere words were stuck to the language and did not want to go out in any way.

My beloved came to my rescue.

— In short, Ratko and I decided to get married, how do you see this?

— I love your daughter very much, — I finally said, — if you agree to give her for me, you will do me a great honor, maybe that I am not worthy of.

— Still would! — Snapped his father.

Mother made round eyes at him and turned to us:

— Young people now, unfortunately, are not interested in the parental opinion on these issues. Well, thank you for asking. We probably agree, — Vera Petrovna looked at Artemy Mikhailovich, he sat red with embarrassment. “If it depends on it.”

— No, first, I was against it, — her father said.

By this time, he had already drunk a few glasses of brandy, and for this reason, he became more talkative and bolder.

— I was against it, because there are many cases when… a gypsy… hypnotizes girls.

— Do not listen to him. He watches “The Hour of Trial” on TV, some kind of trial, about these… frauds. He is a fan of such programs. And he begins to suspect everyone, — said Vera Petrovna, bringing the salad to her husband.

— No, well, now I see a normal person…

We went out with Darina to smoke. And when they were alone, they laughed like crazy, looking at each other, colliding with their foreheads

At Artemy Mikhailovich finally passed an unfriendly alienation. He became warmer and more fun.

Spoke for a long time about the centuries of life side by side of Russians and Gypsies, about the synthesis of cultures. He patted me on the shoulder, expressed a desire to go to a booze!

“Let’s go to yar!”

In the end, he sang in a drunken voice, without a tune:

“You are a gypsy, and I am a gypsy. We are both gypsies. You steal horses. I’m stealing a sled!”

— Well, it started, — said mom, — don’t pour brandy to this participant of the party anymore! Go to sleep, Gypsy.

And so that my father did not fall off the chair, we took him to the room and put him on the bed. Soon there it became quiet, then snoring was heard.

On such a complacent note this day could end, in the rays of the setting sun, if I did not come out with a cigarette on the balcony. In the yard, at the entrance stood elderly women, busily discussing something.

Ardly aside, at the garages, in the thickets of tansy and wild rose, a gay company sat on their bikes, cool local boys with girls. And let my eyes not distinguish white from black, it was nice to feel part of this world almost on legal grounds.

From the window of the kitchen, through the sound of water, the clink of forks and spoons, came the voice of Vera Petrovna. And my peace of mind, waving the wing of the disturbed bird, disappeared into the clouds. With sighs and pauses, she gently instructed her daughter:

— Father is right about something. And suddenly it turns out that you start to participate in his dirty work in order to sell drugs? What are they still doing… It’s scary to think! All women are Chekhov’s sweethearts. Of course, I hope for your mind, education, upbringing. In the end, your father and I put something into you. But in life everything can happen. Sometimes neither education nor upbringing helps. “Manon Lesko” long have you read? Your desk book.

Darina snorted in response, like a cat.

Mother continued.

— There are rings on his fingers. He looks like a drug lord. How can you, Dasha? And do you like it?

I do not know, to be honest, I would like for you something more civilized.

I did not listen any further. And I do not know what my beloved replied to her mother’s desire to give her away for something inanimate of the middle kind.

I left the house and went down to the Oka. On the other side, five kilometers away, was a camp from Tomsk.

I pulled the air, the wind brought the smell of a gypsy fire. It would be nice to visit my friends.

Bitterness spilled over to my soul. I’m not an idiot to be proud of my craft. And you, Russians have the right to hate me. I myself have no contempt for anyone, for many years I have carefully watched those who come to us, carry the last, to get the cherished “medicine” that relieves them of the unbearable gravity of their being.

I asked them good questions, but they were silent in return.

I told them the right words, but they only grinned with cold, melancholy eyes.

Look into your souls and find the root of evil. It grows on the fertile soil of eternal depressions, fears, envy and anger.

Learn to love each other and become invulnerable. There will be no wasp, where noble bees live, but fly to watermelon crusts.

You can build a house and surround it with a fence with barbed wire. To put armed guards and to set up watchdogs to guard you day and night, but the invisible enemy will seep and cut the whole family to a single one, sparing neither women nor children. But let love go to yourself, then the shack will become a fortress and the enemy will not prevail against it. There is nothing impossible for love, why are you chasing it? Look for the guilty, complaining about each other and all the time whining, as if you every day saw off the leg.

My thoughts were interrupted by Darina. She came very quietly, but I smelled it.

In a short blue dress, tall sneakers, a white lace of socks peeped out.

The sun was setting the back of the sun, her hair was golden, and her face was left in the shade. White teeth gleamed in a smile.

My bitterness dissolved like salt in a glass. I kissed Darinka’s knees.

Without breaking the twilight silence, a white ship floated along the Oka.

I felt that I was fatally tired.

— Darina, not far from here gypsy camp costs, we will go tomorrow to them, you want?

She agreed with the children’s joy. (Wow, are they real?)

I was bedded on the loggia. I lay, puffing at the cigar, looking at the starry sky. The stars winked at me, and so I wanted to wink at them in return.

In the morning, parents murmured for a long time behind the closed door of their room.

Daryna splashed in the bathroom. And again, I was not at ease.

We decided to go after dinner. While my beloved was going to, I went downstairs and waited in the car. And when she came out of the entrance, I forgot about everything.

I have not seen her so beautiful yet.

In a black, slightly transparent dress. The fabric, gently flowing, stripped her shoulders, converged in light folds around her neck. Through her, like a dragonfly’s wings, a flexible body glowed a little. Blond hair, worrying fell on his back and chest. Earrings gleamed in their ears. On her legs are high black shoes-boots. A look not to tear off, what swan!

I taxied, gazing admiringly, like a savage, then on hair with a shiny thread, then on nails with a dark varnish, then on my wrists in bracelets!

Tomsk Roma are the most hospitable and vociferous of all! I was sure that we would be warmly received, and I was not mistaken.

The children immediately surrounded Darina, looking at the dress and pulling at her purse.

I approached her, took her by the shoulders and addressed all, old men, women, children, my brothers:

— People, this is my favorite, and soon she will become my wife!

— We know, we know, we know everything about you, the gypsy radio works!

— If you know, do not ask too many questions. I’m all withered, like a stream without

of rain. Drink me, I won’t be in debt.

— We love you and so, you are our falcon! No need to thank us. Everything

we will do it, we will do it right, — they were sentenced unloading wine boxes and

food from the car.

And went to burn in a circle, passing from one to another, gypsy fun!

Flared bright skirts, voiced strings!

— Ah, my lipstick is gone, — Darina said laughing, — Aaa, cheerful people, so I knew! But instead they gave a flower, — showed a red rose in her hair.

She was drunk from wine, sun, noisy unbridled fun. Her eyes glittered more than usual. How I love, how I love this shine! (So the sailors, anxiously peering into the night, come to the delight, seeing the native lighthouse!)

— Do you wander around Siberia? — Darina asked Yashka — the gypsy. — It’s cold there.

_ Perina below, feather bed on top, hot! Oh, how we feel hot with my wife! — He laughed, shaking a gold earring in his ear. And I’m not afraid of frost. And I go to sleep in the cold.

The gypsy girls picked up Darina’s hands, drawing her into the dance. They then closed it with colorful skirts, then opened it. I saw her sway slightly to the beat of the melody, and already swam, swam. Blond proud gypsy, with hot alluring eyes!

My soul was overwhelmed with joy, I stepped on to my beloved! The whole camp danced with us and looked at us.

— In the girl, skinny like a fishing line, but beautiful, passion, — Togar said hotly to me, winking his eyes towards Darina, — you fell into a strong network guy! Oh, lost the gypsy, propa-a-al! And what an eagle was! Oh, go, walk curly, do not regret the soles!

I sat down to drink some wine and talk to an old man. Lit fires. It was getting dark.

“I’m worried…” Zakhar started the conversation first.

I remembered this man from childhood. When my parents came to Russia, I was a little kid. We wandered around Siberia for some time, until we settled here. They walked along the winter Ob to Parabeli and Narym, according to Chulym, through Vasyugan marshes reached the very Stone.

And local indigenous Ostyaks always helped us –they of the best fishermen and hunters. Ostyaks supplied us with fish and badger fat, from frostbite. In the summer, they rode us, gypsies, with their children on silent, nimble boats — oblaskakh. For this, Zakhar repaired their shoes.

— What are you worried about father, tell me.

— The character of your parent is too cool! And I know you. Two flints converge —

sparks fly. Good will not end! I feel trouble.

“So, so,” said old Getana, puffing on her pipe.

— Yes, all right, he is not a beast, so that his own son … — a young Gypsy got into the conversation, but he was cut off: — Go on, dance with the girls.

I drank more wine, lay down closer to Zakhar

“You’re an old man, you know better than me.” Once a gypsy had one law — the law of love! — The old man shook his head, in agreement. — And according to this law, I am right.

The old man’s eyes were moistened:

— Yes, there were such times! It is a pity that they remained only in the songs…

He sang an old gypsy song about how the two loved each other, but were so proud that neither he nor she wanted to submit to one another. The chorus picked up, the song flowed widely, filling me with life-giving moisture. Beloved called me.

— How happy I am!

I took her in my arms.

Gypsy violins sang sweetly. Night generously handed out their own jewels. They fell straight from the sky and rolled across the meadow, through the wet grass…

I woke up at dawn, my love was asleep. Her hair is tangled in a chain that I wore around my neck. I cut the strand with a knife and took it for myself. I looked at my sleeping love and could not believe that for my sins I received such a generous reward!

After all, I am black both outside and inside. I asked for forgiveness and prayed as I could for myself and for her.

I had to take one more step, maybe the most difficult — to appear in my own family, to talk with dad. And as soon as possible. How much this stone will hang on me! Darina let me go, I promised to return to the night. (Oh, well, we go to a disco with friends. For a long time I haven’t seen anyone)

Oh, you windy my sweetheart!

Well, Darina, get a bachelorette party. Have fun, I love it when you’re cheerful. If only to come back soon!

I was driving along the summer road, my soul sang, the last night was so fresh in my memory! Remembering, the night caresses of my Darina, the body trembled, and it seemed I was flying on my own wings.

However, I could not help thinking about the upcoming meeting, becoming darker with each kilometer. In the depths of my soul, I still hoped that my father would understand me, he is smart and fair. Reproaches him, I can endure, respecting parental authority. But tears of Rada will break my heart.

Rada, grew before my eyes. I remember her barefoot girl in colorful skirts, so loved to fool around with peers! Then she turned into a luxurious languid girl, but continued mischievously to joke and scamper around the gardens, flashing bare heels.

Oh, Rada, Rada! Will you forgive me, damned. Whether in your beauty, to you such sadness!

Neighbors saw how dust, drove my car to the paternal house. And as I entered, they respectfully, but aggressively clung to the windows.

— Look what trump card entered! If I could have lowered my eyes, for decency. — My father told me, glancing at me menacingly. I greeted me, but they did not answer me.

— Well, tell us what you intend to do?

— I intend to marry, father. On the Russian girl.

— Get married! And this, you do not intend to try, maybe delicious too?

My father pulled out a grandfather’s whip — the subject of my admiration in childhood. I dreamed that someday she would be my property. But the whip fiercely walked my back.

Apparently, blood appeared through my shirt, gasped in the window.

— I threw the case! You know that at Kruschanitsa they intercepted the goods, by your grace, by the way. What could he do alone? The Russians would all be …, son, — the father’s voice became softer, — You disgrace us, disgrace Radu, an honest, good girl, unlike your slut. Well, did you want a gypsy court? —

— Forgive me, father, but I will not back down! Please accept her as a daughter, we will come tomorrow! —

His father’s face turned red as if from suffocation, his hand with a whip lifted, so that once again, how to whip me, but did not have time, intercepted Shandor who had entered.

It was an old, honorable gypsy, my grandfather’s cousin.

— Leave him, Zobar, the gypsy has no power over his heart, and love does not choose! Let him go to the one he loves.

I left the house.

Rada stood alone, apart from the crowd, turning over a monist on his chest. And she looked at me in surprise.

— Rada, if you can… sorry.

When I approached the car, I heard her voice, calm and even:

— I will damage you. You will not get to me, you will not get to anyone.

I stopped for a second, “I should change my shirt”, but did not hesitate, got into the car and drove off.

Look Glad burned his back, stronger than the wound from grandfather whip! I could not calm down. A dreary foreboding of misfortune, mixed with a wild desire to see your love. I kept pressing and pressing the gas. My car roared, but it seemed to me that I was going too slowly. Tarusa is still so far away!

On one of the corners there was a traffic jam — summer residents, I swore in Gypsy and did not taxi myself to the counter…

A huge KAMAZ flew in the forehead of my car.

The blinding light headlights, and the gnashing of iron covered me.

I dived into the black water. Mother stood on the shore. She was washing my shirt.

— Why do you wash it, mom? Better throw it away.

— Nothing, wash, sew. You will wear, son…

I opened my eyes and whispered “Mamo.”

Everyone smiled and leaned over me, as if I were a newborn.

From now on, the next year of my life, I remember the sensations: food is satiety. The sun is light, warm. Grass, you can walk on it barefoot, it is soft and wet.

People came. They smiled, asked questions, explained something. — Is it your wife. This is your father. Then adults began to come less and less. Instead of them, jumping over the fence, boys appeared. They ran around me and laughed. And the woman who was called my wife drove them from the yard, threatening her with her fist. Then she came up to me and kindly encouraged:

— You do not sit, walk around the yard. Do something, get better quickly.

Nothing, get better, you my darling. — And quietly crying, kissing me.

My attention, at this time, attracted a wrecked car, which stood in our yard. (This is your car, you had an accident on it.) I sat in it for a long time, without knowing why. Touched various objects, pressed the buttons. Once I climbed into the glove compartment, went over everything that was there. My eye caught a folded paper handkerchief several times. I opened it and saw… a strand of light silky hair.

When a person emerges from the water for a long, long time, and finally, emerging, greedily and joyfully grabs the air, something in my head exploded, pained into my ears, and pushed me into the light! I breathed “Darina!” With my whole chest and lost consciousness. Waking up, I already knew who I was.

Memories returned spring birds — one after another. The forest was twilight and silent, suddenly it came to life, and in it all the voices began to sing and scream.

But what happened? Where is Darin? Why Rada…

I was looking forward to my brother, trusting only him to shed light on what is happening

Brother arrived in the evening. He noticed a change in my situation, his eyes were cheerful. We stood under a willow by a small pond. His first words knocked me down. I leaned against a tree. Has a year passed after the accident? The whole year is impossible!

— Well, yes, last summer. You strongly, listen, your shard hurt! Two weeks in a coma lay, even he could not breathe. I am glad to have torn my hair

did not depart from resuscitation. They didn’t let you in. She was sitting on the porch at the door for days and nights, until you woke up. Oh, and she loves you! Oh, and love! _

— Darina… Darina knows about the accident? Where’s my phone?

Brother winced: — He knows, she came to the hospital once. Only her father said she had nothing to do with strangers.

— So what?

— Well, I left and did not show up anymore. And the phone is still in the accident

Lost, maybe when you pulled out, dropped out.

— How did it happen that Rada became my wife?

— It turned out fine, she was your bride, became a wife. The wedding was played, you smiled, happy so sat. Do not remember? Yes, then you were all happy.

— Why, why, brother? After all, you knew everything.

— What was I supposed to do? Against father go?

— All is clear, let’s go.

— Where?

— In Khimki! Come on, go do not blow your nostrils, do not sniff cocaine.

Although over the past year, people have become accustomed to look at me as if they were a vegetable in a vegetable garden, but no one has canceled my former authority. My brother, slightly taken aback by such a turn of events, still did not dare to refuse me.

My plan was as follows: in Khimki, in the hostel, if I don’t meet Darin herself, I’ll surely know where she is now. If not, then, immediately, directly to Tarusa.

There was no this terrible year of our separation. Only the night passed, the long winter night and all.

I fell asleep and woke up.

Nothing, nothing has changed! The same road was laid in front of me by an even tablecloth, the same birch trees were waving their branches in a friendly way, the same light of my beloved eyes lit up my path. —

I again lit the fire of my happiness. And I hope it never goes out.

Darinochka, Dari — na — na — na –ne — ee! Na-ne-ne-dari-dari-dari-ne! Ay — Dari — Dari — Dari — Ne! Ay — Ne — Ne — Ne — Ne — Ne!

I know you wait, my love. And today, I will give everything to see you.

So I was sure of my beloved, not even allowing for the thought that something could change in her life this year.

Here is Khimki, and such a familiar Darinkina dormitory building! Joy was breathtaking, and all the time I wanted to smile.

I called for luck and she swam to me! Only her sails, as it turned out, are black.

Lucy, Darinkina’s bosom girlfriend, pushing a pram in front of her, was coming towards us. Seeing us, she came closer, left the stroller and hugged me hotly, like a native.

— Ratko! Live, what a good fellow, climbed out!

The brother, who was standing nearby, raised his hat. Say through the cigar:

— Hello.

I squeezed Lyuskiny palms:

— It’s all right, Lusechka, I’m fine. Where is Darin?

She looked inquisitive and puzzled:

— Well, Dasha got married.

It seems I smiled, these words were so funny.

“Lucy, good at joking.” What with her?

The girl went to the stroller, said, with a hurt insult:

— Yes, I’m not kidding. It’s your fault. — She paused, shaking the stroller.

— When you got into an accident, we did not know anything. Dasha was waiting for you at home, then she came here, we were on the internet with her, so just in case, they broke through the emergency room and found you in intensive care. Immediately gathered, they took a taxi and drove there. Only we were met there, almost with knives. Glad your shouted more than anyone — Get out of here! — On Dashku — This is my fiance! He’s like you half of Moscow, whores filthy! — The wing is worth something. Your boys, let’s throw stones at us. Scary to remember! Thank you, here is a man — she pointed to her brother — led us away.

Well, we left. Dasha then called the hospital, found out how you were doing, and when you left the coma, the doctor told her — the relatives took her home. You do not lie in hospitals for a long time, you yourself are being treated. Dasha then was delighted, you would see! He says he has come to himself, heal himself — he will come. I waited… and a month, and two and three. Why didn’t you come, now you just showed up when the train left! —

My brother spat out a cigar: — A girl, he had a head of cabbage for a whole year instead of a head! He did not recognize me, he did not remember his native one. —

“C’mon…” Lucy sighed, “it’s sad.” Well, judge for yourself, Dasha, what was to think? She was not a poor person, worried strongly! Silent such became. Diploma, of course something like. Everyone was waiting for Dasha to have the best thesis, where there! Well, on New Year’s Eve she met Mitya. Good guy, programmer. We met on the New Year, February 21, the wedding was already. Don’t you believe me? You look like that. Everyone here knows that Dasha got married and moved to Moscow with her husband.

Tatyana Stepanovna remember, watchman, she is now on duty, ask her if you do not believe me. They are going to England, Dasha and her husband, they offer him a job there. There are such things… Awful, of course, as you did not grow together! — She shook the stroller. “As you see, I also have news.” I gave birth to