SENTENCE
Well, that ended the debate between the parties, which lasted four months. For three years we fought for our lives, for the lives of our loved ones, otherwise we can’t name it. Lose the long years of your life for nothing that did not commit?! Throw their children and old parents to survive, without their participation and help?! We proved our innocence, uncovered the illegal actions of the investigation, but also understood that the number of interested parties in condemning us increased. Since, in the case of our acquittal, an official investigation would have begun to falsify the case. Nevertheless, we hoped for justice and humanity.
When I came to the pronouncement of the verdict, they searched me, before this was not the case, a bad feeling, but I drive away bad thoughts.
We chose a court of three judges, although Andrei suggested choosing a court with court assessors, but Anya and I assumed that it would be easier to intimidate and bribe ordinary people, and it would be more difficult to bribe the customer with three judges of the Supreme Court.
The presiding judge, Shirimey (amended), began to announce the verdict. I did not want to believe my ears — the judge announced the guilty verdict. Everything went through my thoughts, disappointment, the hope for justice, hatred, fear for the future, concern for children collapsed, my eyes filled with tears, I did not want to believe my ears. I looked at Anna standing next to me. She turned to me, she also cried, and told me:
“Yes, Rola, they announce the conviction.”
My soul screamed. “Oh Lord, what is going on, they read the guilty verdict, mom they condemn us, fear God. Lord, what they do, they know that we are not guilty. Dad, mom help. Lord punish them. My tears, the tears of my parents, children and my husband, will fill your life and the life of all your descendants. I curse everyone involved in this custom-made business, your family will be destroyed in suffering, grief and injustice.”
“Help, I’m scared, they condemn us, what they do…” I am sending such an incoherent message to my parents, children, and my dear Sanya.
Beloved, you probably felt, because I hear a call from you. I do not accept the call, and you call again and again. The judge, still announcing the verdict, we were allowed to sit down. Finally, I decided to take your call, but I can’t speak, my sore throat is stuck.
— Do not turn off the phone, let it hear.
Anya told me. After a long listening session, you realized what was going on here, and disconnected yourself.
All thoughts and feelings can not be described in words. I am sure that, after the Stalinist repressions, the same thing was felt. All law and all power is false. The whole consciousness that I lived up to 41 years old turned out to be a deception, an illusion. How to live further, and whether there will be life, is it worth living when they are sentenced to 20 years for a crime that they did not commit? I want to scream out loud. But one must live in order to fight, I need my children, parents, you, I will not calm down until I reach an excuse. Different thoughts climb into my head, everything moved.
“I appeal to everyone who has made a career on our tears, the tears of our children, our parents, on the death of our loved ones — damn you, neither you nor your children will see anything good in this life”
Through my thoughts I hear that the pronouncement of the sentence is being softened, the illegal actions of the preliminary investigation are noted — these are the results of our judicial complaints during the preliminary investigation and tight defense in court. But, all the same, we were condemned, from 8 to 10 years. It’s good that I’m not
